there are no squirrels in Germany...

... at least not in Bad-Godesberg.

Greetings all from across the pond in central Europe. I am (as we speak) paying by the hour each time I want internet access through at least July 31st. For that reason I will not be writing as many e-mails as I had intended to originally... I encourage all my friends to read my LJ, as I'll try and update it every time I come online.

So. I'm currently enrolled in a German language course at the Goethe-Institut in Bonn. Sadly said institution is not actualy located in Bonn (anymore than Northwestern is really located in Chicago) but rather in the quasi-suburb Bad-Godesberg. Fortunately for me Bad-Godesberg is less like Evanston (or for that matter West Hartford) and more like a little city unto itself - which, I'm given to understand, it was until a couple of decades ago when the ever-expanding city of Bonn absorbed it like an amoeba.

Everything is so very German here. Even the web-browser I'm using stubbornly refuses to switch to U.K. English mode, so I'm stuck with a button that says Zurück instead of Back. If I didn't already speak the language passably, I'd be in real trouble here. The confusing thing is apparently about 20 or 30 of the kids in my program came here that way, without so much as a single German word under their belts. Craziness.

Anyway, my point is, if I'm talking funny, it's because my thoughts are half in German at this point. I translate everything I think, and only notice I'm doing it when I run across a word I don't know or somesuch. So if I say anything oddly, or spell something wrong, that's more than likely the problem. I mean, c'mon... in this country they spell my native language 'Englisch.' Even the people I chat with in English here speak British-English (which is infinitely more fashionable than American-English, a crass way of speaking as far as the Germans are concerned.) Like I said: craziness.

I live in a little boarding house with a bunch of guys, about 10 minutes walk from my classes. My classes run Monday through Friday from 8:30 AM to 1:00 PM, so I have my entire afternoons and evenings free. I'm coming up on my first weekend, which should prove interesting. Thus far the only thing to do in the evening seems to be to go out with people from the program and get stinkin' drunk, but that's proved entertaining enough to keep me out every night. I'm running on empty, I hope I catch up on sleep soon... maybe Sunday...

OK. A quick rundown on the guys I live with:

Jan (first floor, from Germany)

- He's not actually in my program, he's the eldest son of the woman who owns the boarding house and sort of looks after it. When I first met him I decided he was the biggest piece of Eurotrash I had ever seen - he was wearing a white suit, smoking, and had a broken front tooth that he had apparently cracked on a train track when drunk (he's getting it fixed on Friday.) Since then he's done much to improve my impression of him - namely showing me around the city to the dirt-cheap bars. Now I would probably be so nice as to say he's well-meaning friendly Eurotrash.

Jesus (second floor, from Mexico)

- The other new kid in the boarding house (the others have all been there at least a month) Jesus is also very well-meaning. He's also a big honking stereotype. I've yet to decide whether he's genuinely a chauvinist idiot, or whether he just talks the macho talk. But he's a very nice guy, I'll say that much.

Salvador (second floor, from Mexico)

- Salvador seems friendly enough. I had an interesting political discussion with him over Beer and Tequila my first night here. God I hate Tequila. If I had any problem with the kid it's that he thinks he's too cool for me (which, admittedly, he probably is.)

Gille (second floor, from Switzerland)

- Gille (pronounced JEEL) seems like a nice guy, very smart. But he doesn't drink and he has a girlfriend back home, and therefore he never comes out to the bars with us in the evening. He was, however, kind enough to show me the way to school in the morning twice - much needed help, given my tendency to become utterly lost. Which I haven't yet in Germany, thank the gods.

Tomoki (third floor, from Japan)

- Tomoki is less a house-mate of mine and more a phantom, a ghost, a myth. He's got afternoon school instead of morning (from 1:30 to 6:00). Even so, I'm not the only one who's admitted to being only half sure the kid exists. He's never home, or if he is his door is closed and usually locked.

Ali (third floor, from Iran)

- Ahh, Ali. The first day and a half I was here this kid was my best friend. Constantly pleasant and helpful and patient. Which was good, given that he basically speaks zero English. Aside from the fact that we communicate only in German, Ali is probably my favorite house-mate. He introduced me to this nice little pizza place, his home-away-from-home since its run by other Iranians. Moreover he's just a smart, funny guy. His biggest flaw is that he skips school pretty much constantly (I know, he's supposed to be in my class.)

I live on the third floor, in a room with a paint job that defies description (the jungle as rendered for children by retarded blind people with crayons.) On the up side the key to my room is an old-fashioned skeleton key, as the house was built in 1914. It's very cool looking and gives a satisfactorily heavy thunk every time I lock and unlock my door.

I've also got a handful of acquaintances (mostly from my class)...

Kimberly (from Detroit, USA)

- She's 22, majoring in French and minoring in German, and just off a few months in Brest (sp?). Quasi-goth, seems nice enough if a little over-cynical.

Magda (from Poland)

- Our little trip Nazi (I have to settle for calling her Reiseführerin, since I'm afraid to say the word Nazi here.) She likes organizing group excursions to bars and stuff, which is fine by me. It's nice to have your presence demanded in impolite German when you're in a strange place and aren't sure people like you.

Melissa (from Singapore)

- The funny little Asian girl who speaks English with a British accent. She's like my Bad-Godesberg version of Zoe, really. Aside from having one other Asian friend who's name also starts with an M, she basically insists on hanging out with us 'Europeans' (her name for everybody non-Asian, including our various South-Africans etc.)

George (from Nigeria)

- He's really tall, and very nice, and absolutely hillarious. Not least of which because he enjoys interrogating people bluntly about their clothing choices. 'Kimberly, why do you only wear black?' 'Eben, do you own a pair of pants, or only shorts?' 'Francesca, tomorrow will you wear a bra as a favor to me?'

Josh (from Cambridge, USA)

- A disservice to people named Josh everywhere, and Americans in general (at least everyone pronounces his name 'Yosh.') He sits next to me, and is a big nerd. One of those people who talks to himself, usually to answer every single one of the teacher's questions sort-of under his breath, to the annoyance of all the other students and eventually even our teacher Frau May. He did, however, prove useful in helping me find this internet cafe.

Anyway, I have to go and meet people to catch a subway into Bonn proper. Supposedly we're going to have dinner and drinks. Next update: the strange drinking habits of foreigners in Germany...