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Its hard for me to fathom sometimes that two days (well, OK, a day and a half) passed during the time when I got into a car leaving Chicago and the time when I pulled into my parent's driveway in CT. I get into such a trance-like, meditative state when I'm on the road. There's something deeply spiritual in my mind about that particular drive, about getting into a car and just pushing blindly forward until you're somewhere totally difference. It helps that the drive is mostly along the same largely uncrowded stretch of highway, and oh yes, mostly follows one of the cardinal directions.
So my journey Eastward bound came to an end last night around 5:30 PM. I went away and I came back again, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about that. I have a greater insight now into how![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
oberndorf must have felt coming up to visit us all those times. I don't think I'll ever stop kicking myself for having left in the first place, really. Because it feels like such an uphill battle to get back. This may have something to do with the fact that while my friends do a spectacular job of making me feel welcome I still come away uncertain as to whether or not I'm actually wanted out there. Which is a callow thing to say, and I feel pathetic admitting it, but, well, there it is. It means that I'm putting together this plan to get back out to Chicago permanently entirely under my own power, and I've never been terribly good at that.
Last night I went out withtheshanakee, lady_eleret and her friend Diana. That turned out to be very serendipitous indeed, because although I had vague plans to see lady_eleret again today anyway, they may not come to fruition. It is currently snowing relentlessly outside; the world is blanketed in white already, and although they're only predicting 2-4 inches of accumulation at last count it certainly looks like a blizzard out there. I timed my drive home perfectly, in retrospect. I saw neither a flake of snow nor a drop of rain the entire way home, and now I'm safe and off the road and the skies have opened up.
So my journey Eastward bound came to an end last night around 5:30 PM. I went away and I came back again, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about that. I have a greater insight now into how
oberndorf must have felt coming up to visit us all those times. I don't think I'll ever stop kicking myself for having left in the first place, really. Because it feels like such an uphill battle to get back. This may have something to do with the fact that while my friends do a spectacular job of making me feel welcome I still come away uncertain as to whether or not I'm actually wanted out there. Which is a callow thing to say, and I feel pathetic admitting it, but, well, there it is. It means that I'm putting together this plan to get back out to Chicago permanently entirely under my own power, and I've never been terribly good at that.Last night I went out with
theshanakee, lady_eleret and her friend Diana. That turned out to be very serendipitous indeed, because although I had vague plans to see lady_eleret again today anyway, they may not come to fruition. It is currently snowing relentlessly outside; the world is blanketed in white already, and although they're only predicting 2-4 inches of accumulation at last count it certainly looks like a blizzard out there. I timed my drive home perfectly, in retrospect. I saw neither a flake of snow nor a drop of rain the entire way home, and now I'm safe and off the road and the skies have opened up.