I'm so in love with you I'll be forever blue

Its the end of what's felt like a long week and I'm feeling a little punchy, so that's why my blather may seem less coherent than usual. Websnark is back in action just when I needed it most and I couldn't be happier. Let Burns be Burns. And yes I was one of those people checking every weekday for new content, why do you ask? And now that he’s back I’m still checking somewhat obsessive-compulsively. demiurgent has got me addicted as ever; I’m intrigued by the new webcomics he’s been linking (The Non-Adventures of Wonderella will probably make it onto my daily trawl.) And I am eagerly anticipating any mention of the possible demise of Studio 60. You just know the man has got something to say about that.

and a Summer you can't repeat

Last month Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early Spring for the first time in eight years. If the prolonged spell of arctic air we've suffered through in Boston this week is any indication, March still has every intention of coming in like a lion. And yet all week the weather service has predicted that warmer temperatures are just around the corner, that the month would begin going out like a lamb any day now.

I am so ready for Spring.

I've written before about my tendency to see the wheel of the year in dichotomous terms. I’m tempted to equate it to being seasonally affected, but honestly Winter this year has been exceedingly mild and I’m feeling affected anyway. I don’t think it has anything to do with a lack of sunlight or my being weary of the cold. Those are contributing factors, certainly, but they are not root causes. Its not that I’m unhappy in the Winter, not really. Its that I’m happier in the Summer. More than happier; I feel more myself. Its ironic really; in the Spring I am allergic to the world, and the Summer tends to pass me by a bit due to my quasi-adult lifestyle. Childhood associations of Summer with vacation ought to have faded by now, and yet Summer still makes me happy. And Spring, as its harbinger, brings a smile to my face.

The fact that my birthday is on the first day of Spring may also play a role in this, psychologically speaking.

And lately I’ve been feeling it. Feeling the change in myself and my thought patterns. Feeling my worries and stresses recede into the background, to be replaced with optimism and an undeniable sense that there’s so much to look forward to. Plans with friends over the next few weekends. The 300 movie, which advance reports already confirm is every bit as awe-inspiring as the trailer makes it look. St. Patrick’s Day. Ostara. My birthday. Legends Spring schedule (hooray LARP.) Beltaine. Spider Man 3. Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Bringing friends to the Cape house this Summer. Weddings.

I know that there are smaller cycles within the big cycle. That while I’m feeling up right now I’ll be feeling down again long before Spring even officially comes, and again long before Autumn. And while my worries and woes have faded, its not like they’ve magically gone away. That’s one of the worst traps I fall into, that feeling that things will get better if I wait. “Waiting” is just another way of saying “doing nothing.” I have to take an active hand in my problems if I’m going to solve them. But I’ve been feeling pretty good about my efforts lately. And its OK to sit back and acknowledge that some things, like the climate and the turn of the seasons, are pretty thoroughly out of my hands.