its not even Thanksgiving and its already been a long December...

[enthusiastick]

For the small number of people who have me on their friends list but not spreadnparanoia: Sam called and broke up with me this weekend. I was initially too surprised to have much reaction, then I had a lot, and now I am mostly OK but somewhat numb. Hopes are high that we will remain good friends. I can't say I think that she didn't make the right decision.

In other totally unrelated news (because a post with just that announcement alone would be unbearably grim) someone on my friends page did something funky with their formatting and now mine is all messed up and will be until their post is pushed down by other people's posts. I really hate it when that happens. Let's see, what else... My parents rock, they came back from London with Tube-related souvenirs for me (a Mind the Gap gloves and scarf set, and a bag with the infamous map.)

It was a relief to come home from work today and not have to cook dinner because my mother was already cooking it -- especially since I didn't get home from work until 6:30. Mondays appear to just be perenially bad over at Zimmer NE, and the situation is worsened because Phil C took the week off leaving Tom doing Phil's job on top of his own while simultaneously finishing inventory. Jackie claims that the load usually lightens around this time of year because people tend not to want elective orthopedic surgery around the holidays, but I've seen no evidence to support that yet.

Oh, and because she has comments on this particular post turned off: rollick today you are very emo. In all seriousness, though, don't belittle your anxiety just because you think it comes off sounding too much like everyone else's. Angst and existential crises wouldn't be what they are if they weren't a weirdly quintessential part of the postmodern human experience, which is just my way of pretentiously prettying up the sentiment that everyone frets that their woes sound trite and you are still a beautiful human snowflake who's individual experience good or bad deserves to be treasured.

Comments

[rollick.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm not belittling my anxiety so much as I'm belittling my expression of that anxiety. On some level, it seems silly to complain about something that everyone experiences — for me, saying, say, "It makes me sad when people don't like me" is about like complaining because I have toes. It just seems… minor. Not worth expressing in a public forum. I'm not denigrating the reaction, so much as the impulse to air it publicly. I usually don't give into that impulse. Or I make the post, but make it private.

That aside… I am truly sorry about you and Sam.

[pooka-madness.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Your instincts where expressing your anxiety is concerned are interesting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the least bit surprised; this is entirely in keeping with what I have come to understand as your character. I guess its just not a thing I'll ever understand, perhaps because its exactly that sort of seemingly universal worry that I'm comfortable airing publicly. I whine about every little thing my friends expect me to, and it gets it out of my system and into the air. Its the stuff that I don't talk about with anyone, or with only a handful of people, that truly affects me.