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enthusiastickHey all.
Its Christmas Eve and its too early for me to go to sleep, so I thought I'd let the world know how I was doing. I've been almost entirely unplugged since I came home, because there's been so much going on here.
"I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to." -- Donnie Darko
Spending a lot of time with Sara has been really really good, except when it isn't. Like in a horror movie where they do that quasi-subliminal message thing. A long slow pan with no sound interrupted by flashes of something indeterminate and bursts of sound meant to instill a deep and abiding terror in you. Am I making any sense?
For the most part, things have been nothing but fabulous. I've spent quality time with my girlfriend. I've seen a bunch of friends and worked on growing some new ones. I've had a lot of time to get a lot of thinking done. And I've come to certain healthy conclusions.
Talking to Jon Horowitz has made me realize that I ought to be writing more than I am. Maybe I'll ease back into it, start collaborating with him again. Work on easy projects, like adapting bits of 'Life of Riley' into a screenplay. But I have to stop pretending I'm just like everyone else, because I lack the courage of my convinctions. I can be doing more, and I won't let myself piss my life away.
Getting a chance to just drive around have let me review the events of the past few months, and then the past year, and then more. I've come to the conclusion that I'm too hard on Mike. He's been a really good friend to me, and he's been there for me more than I give him credit for. We grate on each other at times, and I am harsh with him because he is abrasive. But he deserves better.
Talking with Sara has made me realize that I love her. Its so easy to fall into this rhythm where everything is as if we are just friends, at least when I am far away from her. And when I am not, the evil insecure part of me can try to convince me that I'm just attracted to her physically. But it isn't so - my affection for her runs deeper than that. Its nice to articulate that, but that's just putting one insecurity to rest... so many others loom. Its hard. But I love her.
I miss Jon Singer. Its bizarre to not see him this break. Its stranger still to think that I won't see him until this summer.
Anyway. Enough quasi late-night pontifications from yours truly. I should go to sleep, and think about the presents that await me in the morning. I've already got a George Foreman grill, a Gore III t-shirt and the Back to the Future DVD box set... woo-hoo!
"Did I live it right? I know I lived it right..." -- GC
Its Christmas Eve and its too early for me to go to sleep, so I thought I'd let the world know how I was doing. I've been almost entirely unplugged since I came home, because there's been so much going on here.
"I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to." -- Donnie Darko
Spending a lot of time with Sara has been really really good, except when it isn't. Like in a horror movie where they do that quasi-subliminal message thing. A long slow pan with no sound interrupted by flashes of something indeterminate and bursts of sound meant to instill a deep and abiding terror in you. Am I making any sense?
For the most part, things have been nothing but fabulous. I've spent quality time with my girlfriend. I've seen a bunch of friends and worked on growing some new ones. I've had a lot of time to get a lot of thinking done. And I've come to certain healthy conclusions.
Talking to Jon Horowitz has made me realize that I ought to be writing more than I am. Maybe I'll ease back into it, start collaborating with him again. Work on easy projects, like adapting bits of 'Life of Riley' into a screenplay. But I have to stop pretending I'm just like everyone else, because I lack the courage of my convinctions. I can be doing more, and I won't let myself piss my life away.
Getting a chance to just drive around have let me review the events of the past few months, and then the past year, and then more. I've come to the conclusion that I'm too hard on Mike. He's been a really good friend to me, and he's been there for me more than I give him credit for. We grate on each other at times, and I am harsh with him because he is abrasive. But he deserves better.
Talking with Sara has made me realize that I love her. Its so easy to fall into this rhythm where everything is as if we are just friends, at least when I am far away from her. And when I am not, the evil insecure part of me can try to convince me that I'm just attracted to her physically. But it isn't so - my affection for her runs deeper than that. Its nice to articulate that, but that's just putting one insecurity to rest... so many others loom. Its hard. But I love her.
I miss Jon Singer. Its bizarre to not see him this break. Its stranger still to think that I won't see him until this summer.
Anyway. Enough quasi late-night pontifications from yours truly. I should go to sleep, and think about the presents that await me in the morning. I've already got a George Foreman grill, a Gore III t-shirt and the Back to the Future DVD box set... woo-hoo!
"Did I live it right? I know I lived it right..." -- GC
