on this non-toxic, ordinary day
May. 14th, 2002 11:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enthusiastickLife is a very interesting thing.
I got an A on my first Gender Studies paper, which I thought was crap. Then I got a B, maybe B+, on my Ancient Egypt midterm, which I thought I nailed. I'm doing only moderately well in MatSci (due mostly to my own laziness) which I thought would be easy. And my German grade is suffering from the selfsame laziness. So really I have no idea where I am this quarter, and all of my predictions about how the courses would be were wrong.
I watched the new Buffy tonight... interesting to say the least. I miss Evil Vampire Willow - 'bored now.' Then I hung out and watched Amelie with some friends, most of whom had never seen it. What a great movie...
And speaking of Amelie, I miss Sara (the first person I saw it with.) I'm frankly going a little bit out of my skull with missing her. I mailed off her birthday package today... I wish I was going to be there for her birthday. I wish I was going to see her in less than a month.
Y'know how I mentioned I could do two months standing on my head? I lied. Y'know how I speculated that I might be breaking down and begging my parents to let me come home and see her? That's closer to the truth, except my parents are in Italy. I am consumed with the details of fixing my life here for next year (getting an apartment squared away, registering for classes) and tidying up my loose ends before I leave (doing well in my courses, getting a storage space)...
And I don't care about any of it. I just don't fucking care anymore. I want to go home and be with my girlfriend. I want to see Jon before he leaves for Japan. I want to see Salome while she's doing well. I want to console Rachael Abed about, well, everything. I want to see what's up with Kate, and whether we're still cool...
Mostly I want to be with Sara.
I'll stop bitching now. I know I'll distract myself with details and get better. And I know that I ought to cherish my time with my friends here, who I really do love to death. All this moping and pining for a life a thousand miles away is probably hurting my life here. I just don't have the energy at the moment, or the strength somehow... things here are different. Harder.
Anyway.
"but old news can change / as memories float downstream / so don't judge me by my failures / but only by my dreams..."
I got an A on my first Gender Studies paper, which I thought was crap. Then I got a B, maybe B+, on my Ancient Egypt midterm, which I thought I nailed. I'm doing only moderately well in MatSci (due mostly to my own laziness) which I thought would be easy. And my German grade is suffering from the selfsame laziness. So really I have no idea where I am this quarter, and all of my predictions about how the courses would be were wrong.
I watched the new Buffy tonight... interesting to say the least. I miss Evil Vampire Willow - 'bored now.' Then I hung out and watched Amelie with some friends, most of whom had never seen it. What a great movie...
And speaking of Amelie, I miss Sara (the first person I saw it with.) I'm frankly going a little bit out of my skull with missing her. I mailed off her birthday package today... I wish I was going to be there for her birthday. I wish I was going to see her in less than a month.
Y'know how I mentioned I could do two months standing on my head? I lied. Y'know how I speculated that I might be breaking down and begging my parents to let me come home and see her? That's closer to the truth, except my parents are in Italy. I am consumed with the details of fixing my life here for next year (getting an apartment squared away, registering for classes) and tidying up my loose ends before I leave (doing well in my courses, getting a storage space)...
And I don't care about any of it. I just don't fucking care anymore. I want to go home and be with my girlfriend. I want to see Jon before he leaves for Japan. I want to see Salome while she's doing well. I want to console Rachael Abed about, well, everything. I want to see what's up with Kate, and whether we're still cool...
Mostly I want to be with Sara.
I'll stop bitching now. I know I'll distract myself with details and get better. And I know that I ought to cherish my time with my friends here, who I really do love to death. All this moping and pining for a life a thousand miles away is probably hurting my life here. I just don't have the energy at the moment, or the strength somehow... things here are different. Harder.
Anyway.
"but old news can change / as memories float downstream / so don't judge me by my failures / but only by my dreams..."
