and these are the words you wish you wrote down

[enthusiastick]

Catch-up part three. Warning: I got some existential ennui on your friends page.

I'm distressed about the state of the blog.

It seems as though I've allowed myself to fall into a certain format, wherein about once a week I summarize whichever details of my life I feel are somehow pertinent. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that; its genuinely useful to me, what with my lack of a functional long-term memory about the events of my own life. And there are people out there on the internets reading this journal who pretty much use it to keep track of me, so that stuff is presumably pretty worthwhile to them. (Yes, that is a big shout out to my sisters. How y'doing, girls?)

But the thing is, I worry that its not genuinely interesting to most of the people on my friend's list. I worry that I have become one of those people who's entries tend to get skimmed or skipped entirely because they hold no interest for you lot. Once upon a time I posted random links and things, now I don't even do that. More to the point I don't generally break up the "slice of life" updates with random thoughts and short, amusing entries. I haven't even done the whole "interactive interrogative" shtick that much, mostly because I just can't be arsed to get my act together about it (and also because I tend to think of questions on the train or in the shower, and then forget about them when I'm actually sitting in front of a computer.)

I want to write more interesting entries. I want to be a good livejournal citizen. More to the point, I want to be a good writer in general. And most of the entries I've been making lately have been wholly unsatisfying on that front. I'm really wary of becoming one of those LJ people I hate. One of those people who make a post detailing their every little thought, and more specifically every tiny woe and tribulation in their tragi-gothic lives. But I think maybe that's a risk I'll have to take, if I'm going to keep being interested in my own journal.

The thing is, I read rollick and theferrett, and Eric Burns (and Wednesday White) and Francesco Marciuliano and Jeffrey Rowland, and... I dunno, I don't think I could ever be quite like those people, but I hero-worship them just enough that I want to be. I don't just want to recount, to chronicle, I want to entertain and engage.

I finished a short story about a week ago. Well, it started out a short story, and then it sort of turned into something else. Whatever, its a couple pages of prose. If I've got the stones, I'll send it along to Jon Horowitz sometime in the near future. He's the one who solicited it in the first place, you see, and if he's still working on the project it might end up published, by him, in a little booklet he's going to sell. Which leads to a whole new set of anxieties.

But it felt good to be creative, to create. So we'll see.

And that pretty much brings us up to date.

Comments

[lady-eleret.livejournal.com]

Me either.