I am taffy-stuck and tongue-tied

I finally got my Exalted game going again this past week. Fall schedule seems to have us meeting on Thursdays instead of Tuesdays, but that's very doable for me. The game went better than I expected it to, under the circumstances. After such a long hiatus, I was expecting to have to spend a game just letting the characters flounder around and accomplish nothing at all. To my surprise they were effective and accomplished some things -- not much, mind you, but some things. That game has so much potential, I just hope I'm up to the task of letting some of it shine.

Saturday night I saw Mirrormask with sleetfall and Rachel. It was even better than I had been led to expect. The visuals were so stunningly pretty that it really could have been an absolute crap movie and I still would have enjoyed it as a feast for the eyes. But instead the acting was strong and the story was tight, and the whole thing was just thoroughly enjoyable. Good on you, Dave McKean and Neil Gaiman. You'll both have to be kept around.

I still haven't finished reading Eragon; my new commute makes reading on the train a touch harder (and gives me less time to do it in) and I just don't find the lure of this particular book strong enough to pull me into reading it in the evenings. I'm a little more than halfway done and fully expect to complete it by the end of the week, what with my having plane rides and such during which I will undoubtedly read and sleep.

Speaking of which... due once again to job-related sequestering I expect to be rather thoroughly out of touch from Wednesday of this week through Friday afternoon. No e-mail and no LJ are to be expected. And then for 48 hours after that, who knows how much internet I'll have access to, and who cares? I'll be in Chicago! Squee.

and all at once you look across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl

So, as indicated by the horifically ante meridian time stamp of my earlier post, I am at work today. The insurance industry doesn't take Columbus Day off, at least not collectively, so my office is open and you're expected to show up for work. That doesn't stop half the office from taking the day off anyway, they're just doing it out of their own time rather than being handed it by the company. So its pretty much a ghost town here today; the trainees are around, but the building is oddly quiet. And its gloomy and dark outside, which somehow carries over inside as well. And its cold outside, which means its downright freezing in here because its a big building and it'll take a while for the AC to die down.

All of this is just to say that, at the moment, my surroundings reflect the way I'm feeling fairly well.

Yes, I know, that's a cringingly, pathetically emo thing to say. But it doesn't stop it from being true. I'll feel better soon enough. This weekend in Chicago will undoubtedly be a blast, visiting both family and friends, however briefly. And it looks tentatively like I'm going to end up at another Prophet's Fall event, the weekend after that. So I'm hopeful.

If my melancholy is every bit as fleeting as my joy, and if I seem to get them in roughly equal measure, then what the Hell am I complaining about? Nothing, I guess. You can, if you prefer, consider this perfunctory; every so often I'm going to whine and mope, and lament the lack of color in my life. I'm allowed. I'm lonely.

I'm lonely, and I'm tired of it. I'm every bit as tired of it as I was the last time I said that, and then some.

I want the thunderbolt.

I want a new drug.

I need a rain coat.

I want something good.

I want life in every word.

I want to be a hero.

I want to be loved.

I really really need a rain coat...

I've been fairly listless the past few days, just unable to get my act together. I find myself laying abed 'till all hours on the weekend, not because I'm that tired but because sleeping has more innate seductive appeal than being awake, sometimes. My apartment is an absolute sty. This weekend I did some dishes and a spot of cleaning. If I were feeling manic, or even OK, that would have carried on into a general tidying up, since I'm sick to death of the mess and wish it would just go away. But I'm not feeling OK lately, so the mess endures. I'm annoyed I have to go home to it, but I made it, and there's only me to clean it up.