'cos I don't wanna crush you, but I feel like crushing you

[enthusiastick]

I had the weirdest dream last night, involving tabascosea, who in my brain apparently doubles as a symbol for every woman I have ever met. Its like my subconscious is on some sort of crusade to get me to hate all women everywhere. I woke up awash in anger and frustration and guilt, the visceral, clawing emotions. Emotions that clung to me long after I had realized it had all just been an awful dream.

I have the sense that something's got to give. But I get that sense all the time, and to my knowledge nothing ever comes of it. I get building tension, and increased irritability, and a background seething hatred of every person that draws breath (something not unlike what I imagine thablueguy experiences all the time.) And then it just sort of goes away, I guess.

I suppose the tension must release somehow, otherwise I'd long since have cracked under the strain. Its not like it explodes, which would be way more satisfying. I don't scream at people, and I rarely break stuff in frustration anymore. It all just sort of drains away, probably because I have the attention span of a small bird on crystal meth. Likely something just comes along to snap me out of it, some brief moment of joy.

I've said before that it doesn't take much to make me happy. Maybe that can be kind of pathetic, but its all I've got.

Comments

all too literally the girl of your dreams

[adampb.livejournal.com]

who in my brain apparently doubles as a symbol for every woman I have ever met.

Ooooh, you've got one of those too?
(I've never thought about it in these terms before, but I think this comment may explain a thing or two about me.)

Its like my subconscious is on some sort of crusade to get me to hate all women everywhere. I woke up awash in anger and frustration and guilt, the visceral, clawing emotions. Emotions that clung to me long after I had realized it had all just been an awful dream.

Been there, done that, man. It's really frightening to realize you can have that sort of thing inside you. But at the same time it's a relief to know you're healthy enough to have gotten rid of it through a dream, and not through physical actions with consequences.

[sleetfall.livejournal.com]

I disagree with that last statement. It takes a lot to make you happy.

[pooka-madness.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting observation.

I guess it depends on what "happy" means.

[lady-eleret.livejournal.com]

Definitely. It's all relative.

[playinggodagain.livejournal.com]

Homo.